Thursday, October 15, 2009


Well, having Greg home has been kind of an adjustment. I kind of expected it. When he first got furloughed a year ago, it was VERY difficult for me to get used him being home all the time. It's just weird when you've been together as long as we have (going on 8 years in December) and you're used to your spouse being away at least a couple days a week. For the most part we have a great marriage. It's like I've said before, we pretty much see eye-to-eye on most things which is important. It makes things a lot easier. Probably the issue we argue the most about is who does more around the house. The problem is kind of alleviated when he is gone most of the time, because if the house isn't clean, it's my own fault and if it's bothering me, I just clean it. When Greg is home, I feel he has a responsibility to help out more with cleaning, and at the very least, to not make it messier. Yesterday, before I left for work, I asked him to please clean the bunny cages (which takes about 5 minutes if you are just doing a quick job). I got home and that wasn't done, and neither were any dishes, or anything else, AND there was a large pile of clothes and other stuff from his truck on the kitchen floor half blocking the entry way. I mean, I know he had his Postal test yesterday, but he was home at least two hours (an hour before the test and an hour after, before I got home) when he could have been doing something to help out. Even if it was JUST the bunny cages, which would have taken all of 5 minutes, and would have prevented me from getting pissed off. I've cleaned them before in full work attire, just before walking out the door, because IT NEEDED TO BE DONE. We're just not on the same page with chores. It's been this way for a long time, and we just can't seem to resolve our differences on it.
This weekend we're having three friends over for dinner and I am already foreseeing our usual arguments when it comes to cleaning. Greg is the master of procrastination. I think he'd be further with his job stuff, house cleaning, and pretty much everything in his life if he'd learn to not procrastinate so much. And this is coming from a person who also considers herself to be a pretty big procrastinator as well (what do you think I'm doing now???). The man can spend HOURS on his computer pissing time away though.
I know I'm being a little hard on him, because he just got done with truck driving and he needs a little down time. But what about MY DOWNTIME?? I mean, I work 40 hours a week every week. I haven't had a real vacation since we went to Hawaii in 2007, and that was only 6 days. It was the only vacay we've had in the whole 8 years we've been together. I don't WANT to come home and clean, but the house is a wreck and it obviously needs to be done. Just help with it. That's all I ask. Just spend an hour doing something, and then you can go to your stupid pilot forums and piss more time away if you need to do that so bad. RRRRR!
So the other thing that pisses me off is that every time we have these sorts of fights, I get painted as the "bad guy" and he's the wounded puppy. He acts like I've wronged him because I got all mad. I think my anger is somewhat justified. He needs to be fair and realize that if I'm stressed about the house being messy, him helping will alleviate my stress and make us both happier. Why is that so difficult for him to understand?
Okay, moving on! So he had his Postal test yesterday. He passed, but we weren't sure he was going to. He called to tell me about it on his way home (to not clean the house- sorry, I just can't let it go). He said that at the beginning there was an instructional screen that said either "Select which address is correct." OR "Select which address is incorrect" Something like that. He couldn't remember which it said and couldn't go back to check, so he ended up taking a guess and filling out all the questions in that section one way or the other. NICE. When he got home he checked the results and it turned out he passed anyway, with like an 86 or something. So it sounds like he made it through that phase. But then he was telling me that he wasn't sure he was that excited about the prospect of the Postal job. He had been talking to his parents and he thought maybe it is a better plan to do the hotel van driver job (at minimum wage) and maybe take some computer classes. Well, I think the Postal job is almost guaranteed to pay better than this van driver job. I think he should almost definitely take it if offered to him unless there's some really crappy part of it that we don't know about yet. The van driver job just seems so lowly to me. Minimum wage....ugh. I mean, we need him to make as much money as he can. We'll see what happens...


Someday said...

We have battled with the same chore issues ever since A has been home. And before that too. I know I finally said something to him and he finally GOT IT that he needed to do more. I can't remember what it was. I need to remember though because I think we are slipping into some familiar patterns.

Good luck at getting it all worked out!

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